A dyslexic walks into a bra…

I’ve been saving this goofball grammar joke from the list over at The Foo at bar.com. For what I don’t know. But being that this is the first post of the new decade, 2020, I figured why the hell not start out with a vaguely inappropriate bang.

I personally don’t know what it’s like to walk unexpectedly into a bra. Better than a stroll into a cobweb or a full-speed dash into a clothesline I imagine… but beware of the underwire. I’m picturing busting through the old-school saloon doors at a confident saunter only to be propelled backwards by a granny-sized, hard-core elastic boulder-holder. #Rejected

Ten points to prankster grandma.

And now we come to the part of the blog at which we’re all wondering where this is going. Truth be told, your guess is as good as mine. You might call this poorly planned. I might too. But today I’m reframing. It’s exciting… brimming with opportunity. With questions.

And that’s how I’m cruising into 2020. Another year older, wiser, and more curious about what this nutty life holds. Yes, I decided that 2020 was going to be the year of questions. Of asking questions, looking for answers in unexpected places, being curious, and exploring. And maybe walking unexpectedly into an undergarment along the way to my gin gimlet at the bar…

Personally, I’m not a huge fan of new year’s resolutions, intention-setting, lofty goals, etc. I admire people who can do it and stick to it because I think it can be really helpful and healthy. But for me… this year, it felt right to “theme” it for lack of a better way to describe it. The year of questions.

About nine months ago, a friend clued me into the fact that the translation of a well-known verse from a Psalm is a bit different than most of us know. The actual English translation is “delight yourself in the Lord, and He’ll give you the desires of your heart.” Apparently, the word in Hebrew (translated as ‘desires’ in English) means questions.

The questions of your heart? Huh? I know. A bit of a head-scratcher. But it clearly stuck in my head because here I am all these months later blabbing about it. So when the thought struck recently one night in bed (seemingly out of nowhere) about how 2020 was going to be the year of questions for me, I couldn’t help but connect it back to the desires of my heart. Uncovering them. Naming them. Living them more fully. No idea what all this means folks, don’t get me wrong, but it’s where I’m at. And what I quickly realized is that for some reason, asking questions, the big and small ones, can be a vulnerable place to be. I’ve felt kind of exposed. It’s not comfortable, but I know it’s good. 

I was reminded this past weekend how most things in our hearts and lives start out as good desires. You might call them holy desires, if it doesn’t weird you out. But whatever you want to call them, they’re the desires for things like friendship, connection, intimacy, being known, accepted, loved, seen. Things like rest, play, laughter, are all legit needs and desires. And then life happens. Things get twisted and expectations, disappointment, and resentment suddenly rule the roost. We feel out of sorts and act out of our pain or anger. We withdraw, lash out, put up walls, numb with cell phones, TV or alcohol.

But despite whatever disarray and wacky coping method we’re experiencing, we can pretty much always trace it back to a holy desire. Remember that. And maybe that desire is in question form. I don’t know… I’m still trying to sort through that one. I have no tidy conclusion here. If you do, please share.

And until then, cheers, and watch out for the underwire.

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Photo Credit: https://www.amazon.com/ArtSocket-Swinging-Bathroom-Polyester-Waterproof/dp/B07QZNQ3F1